Sam crouched on the floor searching her cupboards frantically. She knew that she wasn’t going to find what she was looking for but if there was a slight possibility that one loose medication had fallen out of the box then she was willing to search for it. Sam pulled out everything that resided inside the cupboard. There was nothing there. She peered in to have a closer inspection. Nothing. She held the cupboard door open with one hand and swept the cupboard floor with the other, crawling into both corners with her fingertips. Nothing.
There’s nothing there and you know it. Close the cupboard door. You don’t need any of that stuff.
“Yes I do.” Sam whispered. I need it Mas. If i don’t take it the others will show up. Then it’s going to go tits up from there.”
Sam moved away from the cupboard, stood up against the kitchen counter and picked up her mobile phone. She held down the number one dial on the screen. It connected to ‘Doc’ and started to ring. She held the phone to her ear while the phone rang until it went to the personalised answer message. Sam looked at her phone again and pressed the red end call icon on the screen. She needed to contact her therapist. She needed him to provide her with more medication afterall It was his job and duty to support her through a crisis and this was a major crisis. Sam frantically sent a text message on her phone which beeped acknowledging that the message had been sent. Sam placed the phone back down on the counter and slammed her flat palm down on its surface.
Sammmmmmmm!
Mas stood close to her looking at the door that led to the bedrooms.
What are we going to do if he doesn’t get back to you tonight?
“Then we’re going to be in trouble.” Sam scratched her forearm and the back of her neck. She reached over to grab a large bottle of white vinegar.
Stop that Sam. It’s disgusting. 1, it’s not good for your skin. 2, It smells horrendous and 3, it doesn’t kill anything living on your arms.
“Yes it does. It kills all the botfly larvae that has infected me.” Sam looked down on her forearm again. Her skin had started to turn red from the excessive itching. Although she couldn’t see anything there she could feel it. They were everywhere, gnawing away at her flesh. Sam opened the bottle of white vinegar and poured some of the acidic liquid onto her hands. A small amount trickled through her cupped hand onto the floor while she put the bottle back to its rightful place. She rubbed her hands together, lathering the liquid, then rubbed it into her forearms. Sam hissed in pain. The rawness of her broken flesh burned on contact with the vinegar.
You need to stop that Sam. It’s only doing you harm.
“It helps that why it burns.”
It doesn’t help you Sam because there’s nothing there.
Sam looked at the area she had been scratching which had turned a brighter red in reaction to the vinegar.
What do we do when we get like this Sam?
Sam didn’t answer and continued to stare at her forearm. She could slowly see the pores in her skin start to open wider. Looking closer, she could see small movements under her skin.
SAM.
Sam jumped. She looked directly at Mas. Mas looked directly back. Sam knew that Mas always had the right answers. All Sam had to do was listen to her. Mas would get her through this situation but it was going to be a battle. Sam was tired of the constant battle. Tired of the constant fighting that she had to endure. She wanted an end to it all. For it to be over and done with but if that was not possible then she was willing to take the quick fix, the path of least resistance and the pills offered that.
Go and get your routine ready.
Sam reluctantly left the kitchen staring at the cupboard she had just been searching and entered into the living room. She walked over to a particular wall which had multiple coloured patches painted over it. A number of paint cans were neatly stacked to one side on the floor. Sam grabbed one and found a brush which was lying on top of another can nearby, using the pointed end of the handle to pop open the lid, she dabbed the brush in the paint.
That’s it Sam. You have plenty of time. Everyone has gone to bed and you can test out all those colours.
Sam made a small square which was three brush strokes across then painted over the first three strokes in a vertical manner. When she had finished she stood back to look at the square. The off white patch stood out from its magnolia background. Sam rubbed her forearm again.
Focus on the paint.
Sam felt Mas walk up behind her and wrap her arms around her shoulders.
Focus on the paint. Nothing else is important right here and right now. Only the paint.
Sam smiled. She felt at ease with Mas’ arms around her. Mas always knew the right things to say and the right things for Sam to do. Sam set down the open can of paint she held, picked up a clear jar from the floor which was filled a quarter of the way with water and popped the brush head down into it. She scanned the nearby floor and found another brush lying around. She substituted the jar with the brush and examined its bristles. It was a new unused brush. Sam roughly stroked the brush head against the palm of her hand to dislodge some dust and dirt cultures that had accumulated in it. She picked up another can, popped open the lid and set to work painting another three stroke square on the wall.
………………………………………………………..
Wake up you Slagggggggggggggggggggggggg!
Ms Marsy’s stinky smoked breath sprayed over Sam’s face. The sudden shock startled her. Sam involuntarily lurched to one side running out of bed space and fell off the edge of the bed, hitting the floor hard, taking the duvet with her. James shot up.
Look what you did you friggin slag. You woke up your fella.
“Sam. are you ok? What happened?” James scrambled over to where Sam lay on the floor, peering over the edge of the bed.
“I’m ok I’m ok.” Sam quickly responded, while she tried to push herself up but her arms, shaking, buckled beneath her. She slumped back down onto the floor. “I just had a bad dream. That’s all.”
It wasn’t A bad dream you slapper, it’s because you’re sick in the head and he knows it too.
Sam mustered up her strength, trying to prop hearself up again but she felt extremely weak. Panic poured through her body and both her arms were still shaking. James quickly extended his hand. His firm grip caught her by the upper arm and pulled her up onto the bed. Sam sighed with relief being able to get up off the floor.
Pick yourself up, Tart! Can’t you even do that by yuhself.
Sam sat on the edge of the bed trembling. See looked over into the direction that she heard Ms Marsy’s voice. The room was pitch black. There was no hint of sunlight coming from any direction. A deep red glow emanated from the corner of the room. As Sam watched it it started to glow brighter and hotter as the embers of the cigarette ignited. The red hue pushed away some of the darkness, revealing a white cigarette stick which was clamped down by old scaly lips smeared with bright red lipstick. The longer Ms Marsy pulled on the cigarette the more of her scaly face illuminated with the cigarette glow. The pull of the cigarette was so long that it seemed like Ms Marsy wanted to completely extinguish it in a single breath. As Sam watched, Ms Marsy shedding red lips parted into an insidious smile, revealing her yellow crusted blood stained teeth. The cigarette end suddenly stopped its burning glow and a jet of smoke silvered out of Ms Marsy’s nose, coiling itself around the white cancerous stick.
“Sam” James gently placed his two soft hands on her cheeks bringing her gaze to face his. Sam couldn’t see James eyes, It was too dark but his silhouette was distinct and she heard the concerned tone in his voice.
“I’m okay James. I just had a funny dream. That’s all.” Sam bit her lip to conceal her lie even though James couldn’t see it. She puckered her lips forward and fired a kiss to where she believed his lips were. Her first shot missed catching James between his nose and cheek but she instantly corrected it for the second time, hitting true against his lips. Her unsuspected and dismissive kiss was not returned. Sam quickly jumped up off the edge of the bed. Her legs buckled, shaking under her weight; she crashed into the wall.
That’s it you slag. Wake the whole house up.
Sam held onto the wall with her hands as she clambered along making her way towards the door. Ms Marsy stood to one side rasping with laughter. Sam heard James navigate towards his end of the bed. He was going to turn on the lights.
“No James!” Sam called out. “Please go back to bed. Don’t turn on the lights. I don’t want you to get up.”
James paused. Sam could tell that he was by the bedside lamp.
“Are You sure you’re ok?” James asked, concern ridden throughout his tone.
Sam knew that James had figured out the situation which was why he hadn’t turned on the bedside lamp. He was giving her privacy. Sam scratched her forearm. The whole top half of her body itched. She could feel the larvae everywhere. Her arms, her shoulders, the back of her neck and inside her hair. They crawled all over her.
“Yes James I’m fine, I promise. Please go back to bed.” Sam quickly stumbled out of the bedroom leaving the door open and made her way to the bathroom slamming the door shut behind her. She squinted at the sound. She waved her hand in the darkness trying to catch hold of the thin cord which dangled from the ceiling that would switch on the light but she couldn’t find it.
That’s why everyone hates you, you slapper. You’re noisy and loud. Just because You can’t sleep at night doesn’t mean nobody else has to.
The red ember sparked up again, this time it was a short breath in. The height of the cigarette glow seemed extremely low down this time around. Sam finally caught hold of the bathroom light cord and tugged on it. The bathroom light flickered on, making a clicking sound as the old 4 pin lamp fired into light. Sam’s eyes locked directly with Ms Marsy who was seated on the closed toilet lid with her left leg crossed over her right. She breathed out another jet of ashy smoke, this time from her mouth, holding the cigarette between her index finger and her middle finger while scratching the corner of her eye. Sam pressed herself back against the closed door. She wanted to run. She wanted to turn tail away from this hideous snake. Sam had tried to run away from Ms Marsy so many times before but it never worked. Ms Marsy always followed her. Where every Sam ended up Ms Marsy would always be there waiting. Ms Marsy nodded towards the bathtub and took a deep sigh which accompanied a crooked smile. Sam hesitated. She didn’t want the hideous snake to stay but Sam was too tired to fight with her. Sam didn’t have any idea of the time and she couldn’t tell how long she had been asleep but she felt like it was still late in the night and her body felt like she hadn’t been asleep for long. Sam couldn’t even remember how she had gone to bed. She only remembered painting on the wall.
Come on you tart. Put the plug in and set your bath.
Sam reluctantly followed Ms Marsy instructions.
Pour some of that nice pink bubble cream in there. You know you like all that foamy shit.
Sam grabbed a tall bottle of pink imperial leather bath cream. She flicked open the lid and squirted an amount into the tub where the falling water kissed the ceramic bowl. Ms Marsy cocked her head to the side looking at Sam as she leant over the side of the tub, splashing the water in the bath to generate more bubbles.
Now go and get what you need from the kitchen. OOOOH. And don’t forget my secret stash. This was my last fag.
Ms Marsy took one final pull of what was left of her cigarette and held it by the orange filter dangling over the bath. Sam watched the cigarette end as it plunged into the running water. The ember hissed out as it plunged in. Sam looked at Ms Marsy.
Now Go and Get what You NEED from the KITCHEN. And Don’t Forget MY SECRET STASH.
Ms Marsy hissed through clenched teeth.
Sam opened the door and left the bathroom making her way into the kitchen. Mas was there waiting for her.
Sam what are you doing? Don’t go back in there. Go and do some painting.
“I can’t, I have to go back there. Why can’t you go in there with me. Heeeeelp Me.” Sam screamed through low whispered tones. She didn’t want Ms Marsy to hear her.
I can’t help you. Only you can help you. Stand up to her.
“I can’t.” Sam shook her head.
She grabbed the bottle of white vinegar resting on the kitchen counter then moved over to the cooker. She reached up above her head and felt around the edges of an overhanging extractor fan. There was a packet of cigarettes and matches bound together with an elastic band tucked away in the crevice of the fan. Sam grabbed it and walked out of the kitchen.
“It would be good if you could help me Mas. All I need is your support. I can’t fight her on my own and you never help me.”
Mas folded her arms across her chest. Sam paused to look at her. She longed for Mas to march with her into the bathroom but she knew it wouldn’t happen. Mas was as scared of Ms Marsy as she was. Sam looked directly into Mas’ eyes. Mas looked away.
“Thanks Mas. You’re only here for me when there isn’t a fight to be had.” Sam walked out of the living room and back into the bathroom locking the door behind her. Ms Marsy held out her hand with a passive look on her face. She didn’t even look at Sam or utter a single word, she didn’t need to. Sam placed the small bundle in the palm of her hand.
Took you long enough didn’t it you slag.
Sam loomed over Ms Marsy who was seated below her. Sam thought about what she really wanted to do to Ms Marsy right at that moment. She wanted to dunk her head into the bathtub and hold her there. She wanted to watch her kicking and screaming under the water while swallowing all the foamy shit that Ms Marsy turned up her nose at when Sam set the bath. Ms Marsy looked up at Sam.
Get in the fucking bath slapper.
Ms Marsy teeth were clenched so tightly together it looked as if neither her mouth nor her lips even moved when she hissed the command. Sam took ok off her bed clothes which was a white shirt and blue shorts. As she became naked she covered her breast with her arm. Ms Marsy looked at her crotch which Sam covered with the palm of her free hand. Ms Marsy nodded towards the bath. Sam went to test the water.
What are you doing?
“I’m testing the temperature.”
Do you friggin need to test the temperature with me here sitting beside it.
Sam didn’t answer the question. She knew that it was only going to lead to being bitten by this serpent. She stepped into the bath. It was hot,not enough to burn her skin but hot to the point that it was slightly uncomfortable. Sam had to ease herself into the bath. Ms Marsy withdrew two cigarettes from the bundle that Sam gave her, turned around, placed the packet on top of the toilet tank, popped both cigarettes into her mouth, then struck a match lighting both cigarettes simultaneously. Ms Marsy waved out the match stick then flicked it into the bath. Sam was huddled in a sitting position with her knees up to her chest. Ms Marsy took a deep pull on both cigarettes and then handed one to Sam who reluctantly received it. Ms Marsy eyed Sam. Sam looked at the cigarette then took a slow pull on it. Ms Marsy’s eyes narrowed.
Deeper, deeper, deeeeeeeper.
Sam followed her instructions. Ms Marsy smiled a sidious smile.
There’s a good tart.
Sam inhaled as deeply as she could. Her throat burned and her chest suddenly shuddered. Her lungs spasmed wanting to expel the poison that just entered them.
Don’t You dareeeee, You Slag.
Sam forced herself to calm down and she was able to blow out the smoke from her lungs in a controlled fashion. Ms Marsy nodded in approval then looked over towards the bottle of white vinegar. Sam opened it and rubbed herself down with the liquid while in the bath. Ms Marsy leaned back against the toilet tank and watched.
“Darling are you ok in there?” James’ voice whispered through the door.
What does that prick want? Tell him to get lost.
“I’m fine James. Everything is ok. Go back to bed ok?”
“Are you sure you’re ok? I heard the bath running?”
What is he? Your flipping Dad? Tell the Prick to get stuffed.
“Yes Darling, just having a quick wash, honestly. I’m fine ok.”
Ms Marsy slammed her fist down against the corner of the bathtub. Sam flinched backwards holding onto both the bathtub’s side rails for support, her cigarette pinched by the edge of her lips, dangling downwards like it could fall out of her mouth at any second. Sam breathed heavily, staring at Ms Marsy. She quickly took the cigarette out of her mouth and held back onto the bath railing. Ms Marsy slowly uncrossed her legs, opened them wide and leaned forward resting one elbow on her knee. She glowered at Sam.
Did I say to you to nice him up? You slapper. No, I, flipping, didn’t. I told you, to tell him, to get stuffed.
“James please piss off. I want to be left alone.”
“What.”
“I said piss off. I’m in the bath chilling out. Go to bed.”
“Are you smoking in there?”
Ms Marsy eyes narrowed. Sam sat up in the bathtub.
“James you’re not my flipping Dad are you? Go back to bed.”
“Sam open the door!” James started to knock.
“James what the fuck are you doing. Are you flipping deaf. SOD OFF YOU PRICK.. You’re harassing me. Go back to bed.”
James continued knocking.
“I swear James if you keep knocking and you wake Lily up. Im gonna get out of this bath and I’m going to knock you. NOW FUCK OFFFFFFFF.”
The knocking stopped. Sam watched Ms Marsy who now turned her head towards the door. Her eyes narrowed even more. Sam also looked towards the door wishing that James would just leave the situation alone. If Ms Marsy we’re to lose her temper things would get nasty for everyone. Sam tried to maintain a steady breath. She knew James was listening on the other side. What Sam didn’t want was for him to force the situation and unlock the door from the outside. There was a long silence. No one spoke. then came a soft whisper.
“Sam.”
Ms Marsy shot up from the toilet seat and kicked the door. She stood at a legs length away from it panting, her fists clenched tightly together but allowing her cigarette to protrude unharmed from her constricking fingers. Sam squeezed the bath side railings tightly. It took every ounce of strength she could muster to remain still. She couldn’t show Ms Marsy weakness. Ms Marsy hated signs of weakness in Sam. She wanted Sam to be strong, more like her and if she noticed one small aspect of Sam breaking she would seize her by the throat, wrap her coils around her and crush her until there was nothing left. Sam breath frantically darted in and out of her chest. It was as if the air in her lungs was also terrified of Ms Marsy, peeking out to see the terrifying serpent waking outside then darting back inside only to peek out again because it must escape, jotting in and out of Sam’s body. The sound Sam’s breathing made sounded like an old worn out car being started on a cold winter’s day, the engine not being able to properly start up but desperate choking its way into life. Sam bit her lip. She knew James had his ear pressed up against the door. He was debating what to do next. Sam closed her eyes. She prayed a thousand times in her head for James to go back to bed. She repeated the mantra rapidly over and over to herself. Her mantra was interrupted by a sight creaking noise. Sam opened her eyes looking at the door handle. It slightly bent downwards towards the floor then slowly lifted back up to its resting position. The sound of James’ feet slowly stepped away in the direction that Sam knew was the bedroom. She listened closely and heard the faint sounds of James slowly getting back into bed, then there was silence. Sam turned her attention back to Ms Marsy who slowly walked backwards, her body poised, still facing the bathroom door. She slowly sat back down on the toilet lid, crossing her legs. She moved very slowly as if anticipating James’ return, still ready to strike at the first thing that came through the bathroom door. After a short while of staring at the door Ms Marsy turned her gaze back at Sam. Sam let go of the bath railings and slowly sunk down into the hot water. Everything except her head and her arms fully submerged. They both watched each other, then slowly both put their cigarettes to their lips, took a long deep pull and slowly exhaled.
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